Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
be right there i have to get my cape
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize