tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
