I could make wine with my vomit
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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