I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize