I can't breathe out the right side of my face
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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