i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
