I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
