respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
