my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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