I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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