I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
and she was petting her beer can
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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