let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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