Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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