I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
