Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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