yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Shame is for Republicans.
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