i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
