I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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