make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
