Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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