no, he came in my armpit
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
porn star boner night. come get it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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