I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
