i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
