just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
