You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
