I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
