problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
