gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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