I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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