It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
