I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he was CRYING into my vagina
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
