I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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