Pappa wants mamma naked
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
