doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You ruined the universe
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
