she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
