I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
