The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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