Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
