so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
