i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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