you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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