A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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