You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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