I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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