Define "chronic" masturbator.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
