Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize