if i can run in heels then i can drive
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
