I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
