I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She's JV to your varsity
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
