its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
