They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
