so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
