i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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