I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
