If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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