I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
