you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
