Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
