Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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