it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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