How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
soo... how was my night?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
